If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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