i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize