if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you win again, gameday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
