i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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