You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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