hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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