Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
