i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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