fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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