North Korea, Best Korea!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize