We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She bit a glass in half.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
