Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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