Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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