If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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