Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
