Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize