yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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