I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
