Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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