how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
