I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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