i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize