so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
