I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
