I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
