sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
