ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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