i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
