Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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