I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
