just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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