Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
