I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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