Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
