i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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