What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
