I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
