She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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