great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
