I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
