My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
