you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
