Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize