was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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