i don't plan on having that self control this summer
thus making me awesome and them whores
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You need Xanax blowdarts
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
