you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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