We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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