So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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