is your mom at the bar?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
