Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
