and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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