Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
