I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
