This is not my ceiling
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
