You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
