you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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