Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize