so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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