Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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