Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
