what day is it and did you see me today?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
