Pappa wants mamma naked
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize