Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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