The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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