I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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